Humbug

LOL! This episode is too busy being funny to be very shippy! But that's OK. Before now, TXF has been littered with humour, but this is the first time they've decided that it's OK to have a whole episode take the comedy route.

First stroke of genius; what's this scary guy creeping up on the kids? Oh nothing, it's just Dad! LOL That actually makes it sad for me when he dies though.



Next stroke of genius; Alligator Man's funeral is attended entirely by fellow sideshow performers. One of whom buried himself underneath, then drove a railroad spike through his chest in 'tribute', scattering the masses and leaving M & S alone among the wreckage.



M: I can't wait for the wake.

LMAO! M & S investigate an interesting menu illustration of the Fiji Mermaid (throughout the episode, the most likely suspect), one of P.T. Barnum's epic failures, turned into a massive success by billing it as a 'genuine fake'.

HEPCAT HELM: Oh, but see? That's why Barnum was a genius. You never know where the truth ends and the humbug begins. He came right out and said, "This Fiji Mermaid thing is just a bunch of B.S." That just made people want to go and see it even more. So, I mean... who knows? Maybe for box office reasons, Barnum hocked it as a hoax... when in reality...
M: The Feejee Mermaid was a reality.

Ooh boy.

HAMILTON: You don't mean to tell me you think these tracks were made by the Fiji Mermaid?
S: Do you recall what Barnum said about suckers? (nods to indicate Mulder)



M & S find a place to sleep, at the local trailer park. The proprietor is, uhm, of short stature, and Mulder's inquiry into his circus history leads to a tirade about essentially judging a book by it's cover. It turns into a semi personal attack on Mulder's 'unimaginative neck tie design'.

Nutt: ...concluded that you work for the government. An F.B.I. agent.But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
M: But I am an F.B.I. agent.

The funniest part about this is the look Scully gives Mr. Nutt.



Busted. I'm sure she can't wait to tease Mulder about that later. Not learning his lesson, Mulder asks the man carrying their luggage the same question. He was in the circus; a headliner along with his conjoined twin, Leonard. If he seems friendly, it's because he's pleasantly drunk. Why is he no longer touring with the circus?

LANNY: Mister Nutt, the kindhearted manager here, convinced me that to make a living by publicly displaying my deformity lacked dignity... so now I carry other people's luggage.



Oh, dude. The next morning, Mulder wakes much earlier than Scully, to take a jog. He finds a 'bald-headed, jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed, naked guy' catching and eating fish like a bear might.

Among the other uhh.. activities this morning, a man hang strung himself upside down, in a straight-jacket, above a cauldron of hot water. He greets the agents:

BLOCKHEAD: How many people do you know that can get out of a straitjacket in under three minutes?
S:(pauses- does she really want to acknowledge this weirdo?) Fortunately, none.

It's the same guy with the railroad spike. Having freed himself from his straight jacket, he starts really showing off, by hammering a nail into his nose and spouting off his knowledge of body manipulation.

Blockhead: For instance, did you know that through the protective Chinese practice of Tiea Bu Shan, you can train your testicles to draw up into your abdomen?
M: Oh, I'm doing that as we speak.



Oh, hello. Were you there that whole time? Jesus.

BLOCKHEAD: He eats anything... live animals, dead animals, rocks, light bulbs, corkscrews, battery cables, cranberries... (dumps a jar of crickets on Conundrum's head, which he eats) But... where are my manners? (offers jar to M & S)
S: (picks one up and scrutinizes it) Thank you. (eats it)



Hmm. This will either freak him out or turn him on; a win-win really. Scully makes a dramatic exit, Mulder stares in utter disbelief.

Mulder follows with a grossed look on his face. Catching up with her, he just stares and stares at her, really burning a hole in the back of her head, looking for an explanation! Sort of an 'are you for real?' look on his face.

Pleased that her trick worked, Scully stops walking and pulls the cricket from behind Mulder's ear. Ok, now he's back on board and seems almost impressed.




S: It's an old sleight of hand my uncle once taught me. He was only an amateur magician, but he was still better than those two.
M: Well, I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test the blood on the window against the blood on Doctor Blockhead's nail. (with a flourish, produces Blackhead's bloody nail) (with a wink in his voice) Everybody's uncle is an amateur magician.



Hahaha, now who's impressed! (she's practically salivating)

Later that night, after both agents have ad a long full day of investigating, Mulder heads to Scully's trailer. He finds Mr. Nutt underneath it, and Mulder suspects the worst! A pervert spying on Scully! He calls him on it, but Nutt loses his cool again;

Nutt: Just because I am not of so-called "average" height does not mean I must receive my thrills vicariously. Not all woman are attracted to overly tall, lanky men such as yourself. You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring.
M: You'd be surprised how many men do as well.

HAHAHA! His comment is met with disgust, and Nutt runs away. Scully reveals the sheriff to be a former circus performer so they two of them organize a stakeout in his bushes.




They catch him burying something- very suspicious! They start digging once he's back inside his house, but Mulder pauses.

M: We're being highly discriminatory here. Just because a man was once inflicted with excessive hairiness, we've no reason to suspect him of aberrant behavior.
S: It's like assuming guilt based solely on skin color, isn't it?
M: Yeah. (both shrug and continue to dig)

They are caught red-handed by the sheriff.

HAMILTON: May I ask what you're doing?
M: We're exhuming...(looking at the object with confusion) your potato.



They now fumble to explain what they are doing here. Scully tries to rationalize it by commenting on how many criminals are attracted to law enforcement, etc etc, meanwhile the hole she's digging keeps getting bigger. Mulder to the rescue:

M: We found out you used to be a Dog-Faced Boy!
...HAMILTON: Investigation isn't going too well, is it?

The next person they investigate is Blockhead. Why not, he's weird enough. They enter his trailer to arrest him and find him.. uh... sticking hooks through is chest to recreate the Native Sundance Ritual.



Scully appears to find this disgusting. Mulder appears to find it manly. Blockhead escapes by throwing Mulder onto his bed of nails but doesn't get far when the Sheriff catches him by the hooks.

When Scully finally realizes the rampaging murderer is Lanny's fetal, Fiji-Mermaid-looking conjoined twin, no one is more surprised than her. Except maybe Mulder.

Lanny is stricken, not because he's in pain but because he's so sad. He thinks Leonard is looking for another brother; he thinks he doesn't love him!

S: How long can he survive outside of your body?
LANNY: Long enough... to understand that you cannot change the way you were born. Don't worry. He'll come back. He always does. I'm still his only brother.

Aww. Poor sad, drunk, older brother. I feel bad for him. After a lot of disbelief, and a little protest, Mulder agrees to trust Scully on the matter. It's interesting how willing he is to believe her, even when her theory seems fantastic. Maybe trying to set a good example? :P



M: Scully, you're the medical expert. If you think the twin can disengage, I believe you but how mobile could such a thing be?
S: (sees it speedily crawling through the yard) Too mobile.

Meanwhile, Blockhead is intrigued by the sideshow possibilities of Leonard's 'act'! M & S chase Leonard into the fun house (Tabernacle of Terror?). Lots of mirrors, but little luck. They both get lost, but manage to find each other again when Mulder falls through some kind of shaft.




They never find Leonard, because Conundrum eats him.

HAHAHA. It's so sick, but it's such a funny way to resolve the show.




M: What's the matter with your friend?
...CONUNDRUM: (speaking for the first time) Probably something I ate.

Blockhead: Imagine going through your whole life looking like that.